


All Part of the Plan

by ivyness



Series: AU Yeah August 2018 [13]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Except they're all actually dating, Multi, alternate universe - fake dating, au yeah august
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 04:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15677640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyness/pseuds/ivyness
Summary: Office shenanigams





	All Part of the Plan

Anna had been working at Dan’s Dentistry Depot for seven years and she took her role as head gossip, Lady of Lies, and Trader of Secrets, very seriously.

The latest news buzzing around the rumor mill was that one of the external auditors had been caught in the archives room with the back office manager getting down and dirty. 

Anna liked Parker. Sure, auditors tended to get a bad rap for digging their noses in others people’s business but Parker was good folk. She always brought Anna some interesting tidbits about upper management and that one time creepy Bill from Accounts Payable thought it’d be a good idea to grope her butt and steal her sandwich, Parker practically stabbed him with her fork. 

Never say Anna wasn’t the kind of gal to repay a favor. She’d make sure nothing bad got said about Parker.

********

“You were supposed to keep a low profile,” Nate fumed, hands tossed in the air in frustration.

Eliot had the grace to look slightly abashed. Parker didn’t even bother, she sat on the table swinging her legs and bumping them gently against Eliot’s thigh.

“We got the ledgers,” Parker noted, as Eliot gently grabbing hold of her feet to keep them from moving.

Leaning on the table next to her and poking at his tablet, Alec answered, “Most of it was just external receipts and employee records. But from that I was able to piece together most of Dan’s distribution network. The guy’s an asshat but he knows what he’s doing.” Alec gently nudged Parker, “Good work, babe.”

Eliot carefully lowered Parker’s feet and looked away as Parker and Alec smiled adoringly at one another.

Nate paced the room, hands running through his hair in thought. “Okay, new plan.” 

********

Lisa had only worked at Dan’s for a month and she already hated it. The other secretaries tried to help her out and Sophie in particular had an incredible way of tilting her head just so, and twisting ugly words around to make the guys walk away, confused, guilty and vaguely insulted. 

Lisa was pretty sure she started working at Dan’s before Sophie, but that didn’t stop her from idolizing the woman. She was incredible and took no crap from anyone. Even so, there was only so much the other secretaries could do. 

“Lisa!” Dan screamed over the intercom, and Lisa flinched. “My office, now!”

Sophie’s eyes hardened, and Lisa knew Sophie wouldn’t care if she got fired if it meant protecting her. Lisa hurriedly gathered her things to head over to Dan’s office, she could protect Sophie too. 

“Lisa,” Sophie called as she passed, “You don’t have to go in there if you don’t want to. I’ll take care of it.”

She straightened and smiled wobbly at the group of gathered secretaries before turning towards Dan’s office. 

Before she got the chance to so much as knock, Lisa flinched back as the door slammed open and Dan stormed out. “Lisa! There you are. What the hell took you so long?”

Before Dan got the chance to continue his tirade, delighted cheers erupted from the other side of the office. Dan turned and marched angrily towards the laughter, yelling, “What the hell are you guys doing? I don’t pay you to slack off!”

The rest of the secretaries followed after Dan, curious. When Lisa turned to look for Sophie she saw her slipping into Dan’s office and Sophie turned to her with a wink, “Go on and watch the show, I’ll be right after you.”

Lisa walked bemusedly after the other secretaries to find the back office manager and one of the IT technicians standing on a table and making out in a very explicit fashion. Some of the onlookers wolf-whistled and catcalled. Anna was bright red and fanning herself, eyes riveted as the two men added a heavy dose of tongue.

Dan was furious. He was screaming, nasty and bigoted hatred, and Lisa thought about calling for security before Eliot, the back office manager, calmly hopped down off the table, and walked up to Dan, his muscles clearly rippling even through his dress shirt. Dan choked on his words as Eliot smiled, all teeth.

Lisa saw Sophie slip into the crowd, discreetly palming a flash drive and she smiled. For the first time since she started working at Dan’s, Lisa felt light and hopeful.

********

“Did you hear what they were saying about Eliot!?” Parker exclaimed, pacing the room, “That moron in accounting practically called Eliot a slut!”

The rest of team was sprawled out around the room, waiting as Eliot put together a quick dinner for them all.

“Do you mean Bill?” Alec asked, feet kicked up on the ottoman, his fingers flying over the keyboard of his laptop.

“Ugh Bill is disgusting,” Sophie agreed. She leaned heavily against Nate who was seated next to her on the loveseat, “Don’t you agree?”

Nate looked up from his phone hastily, “What? Oh, yes, of course dear.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, “Stop that, you’re not as cute as you think you are.”

Nate smiled and shrugged, “Bill is a pervert with boundary issues. But he’s not the one we’re after.”

“I wasn’t talking about Bill!” Parker wailed, draping herself dramatically over Alec’s shoulders. Alec patted the top of her head in sympathy. “Although Bill is terrible. I was talking about Charlie! I overheard him telling Rachel, that Aaron from Marketing, heard that people in Sales are saying Eliot is cheating on Alec because Becky found Eliot and I kissing in the closet!” Parker finished emphatically smacking Alec’s to mark her disdain.

“Ow,” Alec said, rubbing at where Parker had hit him. “Babe, calm down, everyone knows that Sales always talks bullshit.” Sophie nodded sagely in agreement.

Nate glared at them, “What do you mean everyone knows? You guys have only been working there for a week.”

“Yeah, but a week has been more than enough time to ruin Eliot’s reputation!” Parker said, pushing herself off of Alec’s shoulders. “They’re saying he’s reversed closeted! Even though we were in the archives room, not a closet!”

Nate wasn’t even going to try to address that. Instead, he turned around and called to Eliot in the kitchen, “Hey, Eliot, are you concerned about your reputation?”

Eliot shrugged and didn’t look up as he continued to saute the mushrooms. “Jamie keeps trying to ‘out me’ and set me up with some ‘lady-friends.’ It’s not more than I can handle, though.”

Parker walked over to Eliot and hugged him from behind, saying into his shoulder, “Not something you should have to handle. HR’s not going to step in so we have to fix it ourselves.”

Eliot smiled and rubbed her arm in thanks, quickly glancing over to see Alec smiling at the both of them. Eliot quickly ducked his head, focusing intently on the browning marsala as he felt his ears flush red.

Nate groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Alright, fine, small change of plans, here’s what we’ll do.”

********

Dan was not having a good day. It started with a phone call from his supplier to inform him that sometime last night their entire supply of cocaine, all 5,000 pounds of it, had disappeared without a trace. Heads were going to roll and his was likely first on the chopping block.

Despite the rush, he had to call and wait for a taxi after walking out the house to find his cars with all their tires slashed. He refused to take public transport with the rest of the unholy, slobbering masses. 

His cab driver tried to introduce himself as Nate, but Dan stopped him before he could continue, “Just shut up, all right. I’ll give you your tip if you zip your trap and drive.”

When he finally arrived to the office, Dan didn’t bother to give the man a tip; the guy drove like a nanny.

Dan didn’t take the time to yell at his incompetent staff, just made a beeline for his office and the safe, hidden behind his desk. He found his office ransacked and when he rushed to look behind his desk, he found his safe, empty, with it’s door swinging wide open.

He rushed out, hoping the taxi was still waiting for him. He ignored the eyes of his employees on him as he passed, hate rolling through him. Someone had betrayed him. He needed to get out of town, fast.

“Looking for something?”

He turned to find the damn external auditor, Anna standing beside her, holding the large rucksack from his safe, the one that contained 10 million dollars and his ticket to freedom. Dan growled and lunged for her, only to be stopped by the large heavy hand of the back office manager.

“You wouldn’t believe the things this man has done. Isn’t that right Lisa?” 

Dan watched in silent fury as his own damn secretary waggled a flashdrive in his face, as if they had anything on him, as if he would be that sloppy.

And as if just to spite him, one of the IT Techs pulled the auditor around by the back into a dip and kiss. Dan sneered in distaste at their display as the auditor proceeded to pull the manager into their kiss and the whole office burst into cheers. 

The elevator dinged and he turned to look just as the doors opened on a whole swarm of FBI agents stormed the building. The last person out was a simple cab driver and Dan watched in horror as Nate looked him in the eye and slowly pulled on a dark blue jacket, with loud yellow letters proclaiming, “FBI”.

********

“Are you guys sure you’re okay with me joining you?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t have kissed you otherwise.”

“Come on you two. Let’s go make out on Nate’s table.”


End file.
